Be Kind to People; If You Can’t Say Something Nice, Remain Quiet!
Be Kind to People; If You Can’t Say Something Nice, Remain Quiet!
We are all different. Some are more fortunate than others. Don't ever look down on people. You're better than this.
Build people up, never tear them down. Be the light in their lives, never darkness.
Dear daughter,
You’re entering a weird phase. You’re three years old right now, and there is nothing funnier on this earth than farting, burping, and learning all the curse words I let slip my mouth. I don’t mind that. It’s a phase. You’ll grow out of it. Your mother is less amused by the vulgarity.
There are things I will not suffer, though! They end with me. They end today!
I don’t care what phase you are in or how much you don’t mean what you’re saying. I know you don’t mean them, but they hurt just the same. Some things are off-limits.
Some words are forbidden in this house.
It doesn’t matter whether you’re three or thirty years old. You can never tell anyone:
“You’re ugly!”
“I don’t like you.”
“Get away from me, I hate you!”
Especially not your family, the people who love you the most and who I know you love as well. You’ve picked up this ugly habit, no doubt, from other kids in kindergarten. You’ll never hear me or your mother say such hurtful things to anyone. Ever!
I don’t care if you have a problem with us telling you what to do. Fight that all you want. You can be angry, it’s fine. You are allowed to have feelings and get mad at us. But I had better not hear you say, “You’re not pretty - you’re ugly” to your mother ever again. That goes for anyone. You hear me, girl?
Now, I know you adore your mother. I know you don’t mean these things. It doesn’t matter. Even if you did, there is never any reason to tell someone they’re ugly. Never! No exceptions.
Not to your family. Not to me. Not to your friends and not to strangers on the street. These words hurt. There is never any reason to hurt people by calling them ugly. You can replace the word “ugly” with “stupid, retarder, slow, short, fat…” The rule remains the same.
You don’t have to like everyone. No one does. But that doesn’t mean you have to tell them that.
Either compliment people, lift them up, or stay quiet!
What’s in it for you to call someone ugly or stupid?
What do you stand to gain?
That’s right - nothing! You’re making someone feel bad about themselves just because you feel like it. That’s called being a bully. It’s cruel, and it is something I will not stand for. You’re better than that!
Build people up, never tear them down. Be the light in their lives, never darkness.
If you don’t like someone, stay away from them.
If you think someone is ugly, keep it to yourself.
If you believe yourself smarter than someone else, true or false, don’t be an asshole about it.
You aren’t gaining anything by tearing people down. That is something weak people do. Hurt people. People who are anything but pretty on the inside. They tear others down so that they feel important, beautiful, or powerful. That’s not how it works, darling.
I have raised you better than this. I expect better from you.
You don’t pick on the weak. You help them get strong. You protect them.
You don’t make fun of those less fortunate. You help them feel better about themselves. You help them move up in life.
Calling someone ugly won’t make them more beautiful, or you, for that matter. Calling someone stupid won’t make them smarter or make you look smart.
But it will hurt their feelings. It will ruin their day. It will make them cry. You will hurt them with your words and show an ugly side of yourself. And for what?
Why would you want to make people sad?
Why would you want someone to cry at night because of something you said to them?
Why would you want to frighten someone who is already afraid?
Unless you’re an evil monster, you wouldn’t. Would you? Are you? A monster? Do you wish to become one?
I know you’re not. You don’t mean to say these things. You don’t desire to hurt people and make them feel bad about themselves. But by saying such things, you do. Whether you mean it or not, it makes no difference. It’s never funny. It’s never appropriate. It’s never beneficial. It’s always wrong.
When you call someone ugly, you’re the ugly one.
We’re all different, and we have different capabilities and tastes. That’s all perfectly fine. You don’t have to tell them you don’t like them or think you’re better than them. Only weak, insecure, hurt people do that. People who don’t really believe that they are prettier, stronger, or smarter, so they attack others.
It’s a sign of weakness and insecurity, not strength and confidence.
If you find yourself surrounded by people who tear others down, pick on the weak, and make fun of the less fortunate, walk away!
You are losing nothing by leaving them behind but tainting your reputation and mind by associating with them. Besides, if they do this to other people, what do you think they do to you behind your back?
Your relationships will be infinitely better if you focus on building people up.
Lift their spirits and make them feel good about themselves. Life will reward you for your kindness. They will appreciate it. Even the smallest gestures and compliments go a long way for someone needing to hear them.
Here’s a secret - we all need to hear them, whether we admit it or not.
I would even say that you should go out of your way to be kind to people, especially those less fortunate or capable than you. They may be different, but they are valuable souls nonetheless. They have feelings. They love. They hope. They dream, and they try their best.
Make it a habit to look random people in their eyes and find something nice to say to them or about them.
You’ll notice just how much they will appreciate this small kindness—a gesture, a word that costs you nothing but will make their day. Be the reason people feel better every day, not worse.
This world is dark enough; don’t add to the darkness - be the light!
Don’t let kind words go unsaid.
Tell and show the people you love how much you like them, how much you love them. Never take them for granted; don’t let words of love and appreciation go unsaid.
You never know how much time you have with any one of them. Life is fragile and full of regrets, especially regarding the things we didn’t do. Words we didn’t say. Chances we didn’t take.
Your mother has a saying: “If you have nothing smart to say, don’t say anything.” It has made me a much quieter man. I will modify this saying and add: “If you have nothing smart or nice to say, don’t say anything at all!”
Be kind to others, and others will be kind to you, my darling.
Love, dad
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