Never Allow People to Push You Around and Influence Your Decisions
Think with your own head and always understand who you are and why you chose something. Become ungovernable and firm in your convictions. (Letters to my daughter)
Dear daughter,
I hope I've taught you the most important lesson of them all:
Know who you are and make your own decisions about everything!
When you know who you are, you won’t let others tell you differently.
When you know why you will or won’t do something, no one will be able to force their will upon you and emotionally extort you, especially not with something as silly as peer pressure. Resist it with all you have! You’re better than to fall for that nonsense. Leave it to the weak and liable.
When you are used to thinking with your own head (critical thinking), evaluating situations and data, and making decisions yourself, you can stand by them with confidence. Your understanding of things will make you strong and unmovable.
Know your values
I have shown you what I believe is good, right, and just, but I don’t want you to stick to my beliefs and values. No. I want you to create your own and stand by them, come hell or high water! You’ll only be able to fight off invading ideas, ideologies, and opinions by trusting yourself and understanding how you came to those beliefs and values.
Listen, darling, I may be wrong on a lot of things. My world is not your world. I don’t know the situations, people, and the world you will inhabit in the future. This is why I keep reinforcing that you think with your head and make good decisions yourself.
How will you know what constitutes a good decision?
As long as it’s in tune with your core values (your core beliefs), moves you toward your goals (determination), and feels right to you (gut instinct), you’re on the right track.
Make it a habit to think for yourself and listen to your instincts. They’ll never fail you!
I trust your judgment
I may not know what you will face during your lifetime, but I trust you and your judgment as long as it's yours and not anyone else’s! Trust no one and trust nothing blindly. Yes, be open to new information, perspectives, and ideas, but verify them yourself.
As you grow in your understanding of life and the world, you will come to see that none of us know anything. We’re all just doing our best with the information and assets at our disposal. Most of the time, we’re flying blind and must improvise on the spot, change and adapt. That is just life.
You’ll never know for a fact that you’ve made the right decisions
Come to peace with this fact. None of us can see the future (no exceptions), so all we can do is make the best decisions at any given time, and that is enough. If you’re wrong, you’ll fix it later. If you’re right, just know there will be a time when you will be wrong.
Don’t fear being wrong
Don’t resist changing your mind. It’s the sign of a wise person who is not consumed with ego. Don’t fear failing. There is no such thing. It’s all learning. Every little mishap is just another step on your journey. Make as many of them as possible. Seek out risk. Expose yourself to rejection and failure. It’s the fastest way to grow and get anywhere.
While you don’t have to listen to me, I would be happy if you didn’t just blindly contradict me, or act like an ass, just to fight me.
I may be wrong on some things, but it doesn’t mean you’re automatically right if you do the opposite of what I believe or want. Either way, if it helps you become strong, independent, and self-confident in your critical thinking abilities, I’ll take it!
Never allow others to dictate how you think about something, especially not in social situations (peer pressure). You won’t have problems fighting the insanity of others if you know who you are and have a good “why!”
Build a sense of self-respect
Know your worth, trust yourself, and never settle for anything less. If someone is mistreating you, get the hell out! If someone is disrespecting you, put them in their place! If someone is trying to insert their misery and insecurity on you, show them the door.
Know what is right and wrong, and never compromise on your values
No, a little social awkwardness is not the end of the world, but being naive and labile can lead to some dark places and silly mistakes with serious consequences. Be strong enough to fight those bad influences and make good decisions because you understand WHY you’re making them.
I love and trust you, always. Dad.
I like you. Subscribe, and I’ll deliver new stories to your mailbox. You can choose topics you’re interested in and will receive only those. I also write on other subjects, fiction, and non-fiction. Check them out!
Thanks for reading and helping by liking, commenting, and sharing! It means a lot. Follow this LINK if you want to do more. You are appreciated.
You might also be interested in these related posts:
Dear Daughter - Be True to Yourself, Live Your Life, and Ignore the Old Fool
Find out who you are and what you want in life. Never let anyone else tell you how to live! This is your life, your world!
Choose the Hard Path and Reap Rewards In the Future
An easy path leads to a hard life! Think of the long-term consequences, not how you feel today. Challenge yourself and beat 90% of all people. (Letters to my daughter)
Dear Daughter, So You Want to Become an Activist?
Activism is important. Just make sure you're advocating for the right side, in the right way, and you actually know what you're talking about.
Dear Daughter, We Are Nothing Without Trust and Integrity
Life is complicated. We all make mistakes. Trust and integrity are crucial in any relationship!
Dear Daughter, Learn to Pick Your Battles
Choose the hill you're willing to die on carefully. Relationships are hard. There's no point making them more difficult.