On a Dark Day When All Seems Hopeless, Find Something Small to Look Forward to
On a Dark Day When All Seems Hopeless, Find Something Small to Look Forward to
When we don’t even know why to live anymore and everything seems hopeless, it is crucial to find something, however small, to look forward to and get you through the day.
Today’s post is about finding something to look forward to. There will come those dreaded days when nothing works out, and you lose all hope. Days when you might even wonder, “What is all the point of going on, anyway? It’s all hopeless.” Sometimes, things don’t work out the way we want them to.
The simple truth is that most of us won’t always get everything we want, and that’s okay. We don’t need much to live a happy and content life. We think we do, but we don’t.
Happiness is an inside job. It lies in how our mind is set up. If anything, happiness is all those small joys that constitute our life. Let’s focus on those.
What am I looking forward to today?
This is a question I ask myself when I’m feeling down and can’t seem to get the things I want or make any meaningful progress. It’s a simple mind shift that makes living another day sensible and reasonable, sometimes even joyful.
I first learned to look for the small joys I know will come from a young boy suffering from a severe illness who knew he didn’t have long to live. Yet, to the surprise of everyone, he was always in a good mood, joyful and smiling.
Sadly, he’s no longer with us, but his legacy continues. If he was able to be happy despite living a life resembling a nightmare, full of tests and operations, and with a very short expiration date, so can I, and so can you! His name was Sam Burns, and this is one of his talks. I highly recommend you give him a listen. If nothing else, you’ll feel a tad stupid for seeing no light in your life when you have it all compared to this brave young man.
The secret to looking forward with joy
I would strongly advise you to stick to smaller joys, those you know are attainable and probable. Ignore the big goals and milestones.
They don’t really matter. Most importantly, they most likely lie far in the future, surrounded by the vial of uncertainty. Maybe you’ll get there, maybe you won’t. This is not the path to happiness and inner peace. It’s the road to anxiety, fear, and misery. Avoid it at all costs.
Skip these, for example:
I’m looking forward to getting that dream job.
I’m looking forward to becoming a parent.
I’m looking forward to making my first million.
I’m looking forward to graduating.
I’m looking forward to moving to another country.
These are big, important things that may or may not happen. I’m not saying, “Don’t have worthwhile goals.” I’m just telling you that while they may inspire you, focusing on them while emotionally down will not do you any favors. It might just make things worse.
When you ask yourself, “What am I looking forward to?” think of all the little things that bring you joy. The things you know are coming, and you will get to enjoy. The more unimpressive and ordinary, the better.
Here are a few of my personal examples from a recent rant on my other publication, Master the Mind - Master the World.
Today, I’m looking forward to watching the next episode of the “Three Body Problem” TV show. I love it and can’t wait to see the next episode.
Today, I’m looking forward to reading the next book in the Dune series, which I avoided all this time, but I feel it’s time to sink my teeth into Dune Messiah.
Today, I’m looking forward to seeing my daughter perform in her kindergarten play in the afternoon. I’m sure that will be fun.
Today, I’m looking forward to drinking my afternoon coffee with my girlfriend—a nice, quiet time in good company, with the smell and taste of those roasted beans.
Today, I’m looking forward to how good I'll feel after my workout. Although I may suffer during the workout itself, I know I’ll feel great after it.
Today, I’m looking forward to riding my motorcycle again. I can’t wait! It’s almost time to dust it off and start the biking season. I miss my bike, and as the weather clears, days on the road are back on the menu.
Today, I’m looking forward to visiting my girlfriend's family this weekend. I always have fun there, and I get spoiled! I love them and actually miss them.
Can’t think of anything to look forward to? Think smaller!
If you’re in a really dark place, I can understand that you can’t find anything to look forward to. I get it. I’ve been there. I’m willing to bet that there are things you enjoy if only a little, and would love to experience either for the first time or again.
I don’t know what you enjoy, but you do. Write it down. Open a notebook and start writing. Don’t stop. The more examples of things you could look forward to you find, the more you’ll think of. The more often you’ll do this exercise, the more natural and easy if will be.
A hug from a loved one.
A movie you felt good watching.
Hearing your favorite music.
Eating a box of chocolate or ice cream.
A simple coffee or a good meal.
Seeing someone you love at least one more time.
Going for a walk.
Getting laid.
Reading your favorite book.
Taking your dog for a walk.
Get into the habit of writing down at least five things you’re looking forward to in the morning or when feeling down. Let those small things be the light that pulls you forward. No matter how dark it all seems in this moment, find something to hold onto that you can look forward to. Regardless of how small or insignificant in the grand scheme of things, if the thought of it brings you joy - hold on and don’t let go!
This simple shift in focus has helped me get through some hopeless and dark days, friends. May it do the same for you.
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