Dear Daughter, You Are Enough, and You Deserve the Best!
Dear Daughter, You Are Enough, and You Deserve the Best!
Words are powerful and carry consequences throughout our lives, especially when we hear them as children.
Dear Daughter,
As your father, I am acutely aware of my responsibilities to you. I know that my words will echo far into your future. So will the absence of the right things to say when you need to hear them most. Even the smallest moments have an unpredictable “Butterfly effect” on your future. Sometimes, that scares me.
I’ve been doing some thinking lately, and three decades later, I can still hear my parents imprint these ideas into my young, impressionable mind:
“Stop dreaming and face reality! Be grateful if you can even get a normal job.”
“You want to make how much money? Who do you think you are, Rockefeller?”
“You’re just like XY, and you’re going to end up like him - broke and a loser.”
I know they were trying to encourage me to do and be better and hold absolutely nothing but love toward them. There is no resentment here. I know they were trying to do the right thing and say the right words. Tough love or something, I don’t know. I didn’t care at the time, the little rebel I was, but I now know that those words have sprouted roots in my mind. Somewhere deep, almost unreachable, they dictate my life even now.
The problem is that, as children, we can often misunderstand words and situations and take them too personally or literally. Those words, meant as a warning, often end up being a large part of our subconscious beliefs. They form our identity on some level. We then become exactly who they wanted to prevent us from becoming.
The hurt little boy who kept getting hit on the head with “you’re not good enough,” “you don’t deserve to make good money,” and “you won’t amount to anything” still suffers in the depths of my subconsciousness. He still believes these words.
It doesn’t help that I understand they didn’t mean what they said. It doesn’t help that I know it wasn’t true. It doesn’t even help that I have proven to myself and them that I am capable of big things.
I am still intensely self-sabotaging myself at every step. Sometimes I see it. Other times, I don’t. I’ve been battling these inner voices whispering in my ear all my life. Wherever we end up, whatever we end up doing, these words will follow us until the day we recognize the patterns and resolve them successfully. That, my darling, is a lot easier said than done.
Look around. You’ll see that everyone has such patterns of behavior. Relationships that echo one another. Jobs that always end up the same way. Repeating health issues.
Can you think of something that might be repeating itself in your life?
I sincerely hope I will not mess you up too much, but I know I will make mistakes along the way. After all, I am only human, and a flawed one at that.
I will do my best not to repeat my parents’ mistakes, as they tried their best not to repeat the mistakes of their parents. For the most part, they did good. If we go one generation back, you’d be shocked at the poor parenting skills of your grandparents—truly appalling, nightmare-level stuff.
My parents did the best they could, and so did theirs.
All we can ever do is the best we know how and can do at that moment. Sometimes, it will be enough, and sometimes, we will fall short.
I will do my best to inspire, encourage, and support you on your journey, little one. The problem is that I don’t know who you will become or the world you will inhabit. All I know is it won’t be like mine. It never is. I could very well be teaching you all the wrong things.
Feel free to defy my will if you sense that I have lost touch with the times and believe I am wrong about something. Follow your heart, and listen to your intuition. I support and love you either way, even if I don’t understand everything.
I, too, will say the wrong things sometimes.
Whatever those might be, you can never doubt my intention. I only want what’s best for you. I may not always know what that is, though. Let us make a few things clear. In case I find a way to screw things up and fail to tell you these in person.
I love you unconditionally, in this life or beyond.
There is nothing you can do to ever change that. No arguments, words, or deeds will ever cause me to stop loving you. It’s not happening.
You deserve the very best.
You deserve all the love and the experience this world has to offer. You deserve the best friends, family, and lovers. You deserve the best education and job. You deserve to be successful, and you deserve to make good money. You deserve to live the life you choose to live. Whatever that may be. Only the best for you. Never settle for less, my darling!
You are good enough.
You are smart enough. You are capable enough. You are strong enough. You are beautiful enough. I have no expectations of you, only a desire to see you happy and content. Do what you want with your life; whatever you choose will be enough for me. You cannot and will not ever disappoint me. It’s just not possible.
Whatever you put your mind to, you can achieve.
No matter how hard something may seem at this moment, keep going. Failure and loss are all just stepping stones that make us stronger and wiser. Persevere, and you will get there. I have all the faith in the world in you. You can, and you will do it!
Imprint these facts into your mind, and ignore anything that would suggest otherwise, regardless of where they come from. My job is to teach you how to love and believe in yourself. Should I fail in this mission, revert to the words above and override any doubts you may have.
Love, Dad
Sharing is caring, especially in the online digital world.
You have my FULL PERMISSION to share, post, tweet, cross-post, and restack this content. In fact, I encourage it. If you want to support my work, follow this LINK. You are appreciated.