Love the list! Thank you for posting it. I've been thinking a lot about gratitude lately—it's a popular month for it. One thing I've noticed is that gratitude and happiness are not always conjoined at the hip. I am very grateful to have been at my mom's bedside when she died in the spring. I'm not happy about it though. I think gratitude is a more lasting emotion than happiness. Don't get me wrong, I'm a happy and optimistic person, but I think gratitude has a certain depth and richness that happiness doesn't necessarily have. I'd be happy and grateful to know your thoughts and those of your readers.
Thank you, Jane. Every day should be a popular "month" for us to remind ourselves of the things we're thankful for. You never know when they might just disappear.
We can be grateful for a number of things, I agree. We can be grateful for something that is generally negative, but we can choose to focus on the bright side of the matter, like in your example. Some things happen and were always going to happen, like the loss of a parent. We can focus on the time we got to spend with them, and perhaps on them having a peaceful transition, and be thankful for that. Naturally, we’re not happy they’re gone, but we can be happy that we got XY years with them. Not all have that luxury.
Another example that comes to mind is being unemployed. Yes, it sucks to be without income and receive rejection after rejection, but we can re-frame that experience as an indefinite vacation, a time to rest, as we will inevitably once again be working full time. This makes us feel better about the same inevitable situation. We're focused on the good in the relative bad. We’re not happy to be unemployed, but we can be “glad and appreciative” of the time we have to work on ourselves, other projects, or spend more time with loved ones. It’s all about pointing our focus.
In the article's list, the use of the words: "I am happy and grateful" is more of an affirmation than an insinuation of active happiness. If we're going to be repeating a phrase over and over again, why not call for some additional benefits, as well?
As long as that doesn't cause emotional resistance, thereby making you feel worse. In this case, it would be wise to choose a different phrase. The aim of this process is to refocus on the good and to feel better, now worse.
We can all define happiness for ourselves. I know some people fight the idea of using the word happiness in their vocabulary. For them, it might cause a negative reaction based on their beliefs and experiences. The word "rich" does that for me, for example, so I don't use it.
We can define happiness as a feeling of inner peace, an enoughness of sorts. This is how I perceive it, and I see myself as a happy person (even though I’m not without my problems). Or it may mean an elevated, ecstatic feeling of joy, laughter, hyper excitement, for example. In this case, it can, by definition, only be of a temporary nature. We can't always be happy by this later definition, but we can be happy most of the time if we perceive happiness as a state of good enough, relative plenty, feeling good, and being without major problems.
For some people, even the word “grateful” might be problematic and induce a negative reaction. Perhaps they could start with “I accept,” “I’m willing to accept,” “I allow myself to be thankful or happy,” “I am willing to allow myself to…,” or if need be, “I guess it doesn’t suck that…” We all have to start somewhere and can’t make quantum jumps. If we’re feeling down, sometimes even acknowledging that things could be worse is enough to move us forward.
Thank you for your question and response. They made me think and clarify some things.
Love the list! Thank you for posting it. I've been thinking a lot about gratitude lately—it's a popular month for it. One thing I've noticed is that gratitude and happiness are not always conjoined at the hip. I am very grateful to have been at my mom's bedside when she died in the spring. I'm not happy about it though. I think gratitude is a more lasting emotion than happiness. Don't get me wrong, I'm a happy and optimistic person, but I think gratitude has a certain depth and richness that happiness doesn't necessarily have. I'd be happy and grateful to know your thoughts and those of your readers.
Thank you, Jane. Every day should be a popular "month" for us to remind ourselves of the things we're thankful for. You never know when they might just disappear.
We can be grateful for a number of things, I agree. We can be grateful for something that is generally negative, but we can choose to focus on the bright side of the matter, like in your example. Some things happen and were always going to happen, like the loss of a parent. We can focus on the time we got to spend with them, and perhaps on them having a peaceful transition, and be thankful for that. Naturally, we’re not happy they’re gone, but we can be happy that we got XY years with them. Not all have that luxury.
Another example that comes to mind is being unemployed. Yes, it sucks to be without income and receive rejection after rejection, but we can re-frame that experience as an indefinite vacation, a time to rest, as we will inevitably once again be working full time. This makes us feel better about the same inevitable situation. We're focused on the good in the relative bad. We’re not happy to be unemployed, but we can be “glad and appreciative” of the time we have to work on ourselves, other projects, or spend more time with loved ones. It’s all about pointing our focus.
In the article's list, the use of the words: "I am happy and grateful" is more of an affirmation than an insinuation of active happiness. If we're going to be repeating a phrase over and over again, why not call for some additional benefits, as well?
As long as that doesn't cause emotional resistance, thereby making you feel worse. In this case, it would be wise to choose a different phrase. The aim of this process is to refocus on the good and to feel better, now worse.
We can all define happiness for ourselves. I know some people fight the idea of using the word happiness in their vocabulary. For them, it might cause a negative reaction based on their beliefs and experiences. The word "rich" does that for me, for example, so I don't use it.
We can define happiness as a feeling of inner peace, an enoughness of sorts. This is how I perceive it, and I see myself as a happy person (even though I’m not without my problems). Or it may mean an elevated, ecstatic feeling of joy, laughter, hyper excitement, for example. In this case, it can, by definition, only be of a temporary nature. We can't always be happy by this later definition, but we can be happy most of the time if we perceive happiness as a state of good enough, relative plenty, feeling good, and being without major problems.
For some people, even the word “grateful” might be problematic and induce a negative reaction. Perhaps they could start with “I accept,” “I’m willing to accept,” “I allow myself to be thankful or happy,” “I am willing to allow myself to…,” or if need be, “I guess it doesn’t suck that…” We all have to start somewhere and can’t make quantum jumps. If we’re feeling down, sometimes even acknowledging that things could be worse is enough to move us forward.
Thank you for your question and response. They made me think and clarify some things.