Self-Analysis: What Am I Getting From Being Stuck Where I Am?
Self-Analysis: What Am I Getting From Being Stuck Where I Am?
Do you find pleasure in being sick, poor, or lonely? Is the fear of healing, love, or success bigger than staying stuck? You might be surprised at what you find!
Are you sick, poor, or lonely?
What is the main issue you suffer from and keeps repeating in your life? Find out why you are creating it so you may be free to improve your health and life.
If you’re new to the idea that our minds, for whatever reason, can heal our bodies and cause them to get sick in the first place, you might want to close this article. It’s not for you. See your doctor, eat well, and exercise. If, however, you’ve done all that and it didn’t help and are familiar with the connection between your mind and your body, I’ve got a challenge for you.
What we’ll be talking about today applies to any and all patterns that keep replaying in your life, health, mind, love, and finances. It makes no difference. If there is a pattern and you’re stuck, you can be sure you are the one causing it subconsciously.
The main idea is this:
If you are stuck in some position, you are stuck there because although you hate it, on some level, there is something you’re getting out of it. This terrible position you’re in is somehow better and less painful than the opposite of it (poor, rich, sick, healthy, alone, in a relationship). No, it’s not rational, and it doesn’t make sense!
You don’t know what it is that you are getting from it, or you would stop. No one in their right mind would be doing this intentionally. So, let’s find out if we can find the reasons that are buried levels deeper in your subconscious mind.
Even if you don’t think it will make a change, shining a light on some buried issues and beliefs that are not benefiting you can only be good. Get to know yourself and see if there’s any truth to it.
Before we continue, we must make it clear that we will be making the following assumptions:
We create our bodies, relationships, happiness, and financial situation (good and bad) ourselves. We take full responsibility for everything in our lives (no exceptions), even if we don’t understand why or how we can possibly be the cause of them.
Our mind is always the cause. The rest is the world of effects, symptoms, and results. If you want to heal and get better, you have to remove the causes of your problems. Think of this reality as a dream world. Everything in your dreams is the product of your subconscious mind, though they look and feel “real and separate” from you. LINK
Our minds are responsible for everything in our lives: our health, the people we interact with, the level of our happiness or misery, and even the things that appear to happen to us randomly.
If we can find the issue in our minds and remove or replace it, our bodies and lives must reflect this change. It’s not an if or maybe, but a fact—it’s how things work in this reality.
We will take the idea literally and won’t debate its validity. If we do, we’ve already lost as we’ve given into a victim mentality and feel helpless again.
Instructions
When doing this exercise, don’t overthink things, and don’t be afraid of the answers that come forth. Take a notebook and a pen, and just allow everything that comes to mind to flow without judgment and limitations. No one is going to read this later. None of it has to be true. We’re digging for hidden treasure, and we’ll have to get through a lot of useless dirt and rocks to get there.
Why would I ever do this to myself? What am I getting from it?
Ask yourself these questions and do your very best to find as many answers as possible. No matter how silly or unconnected they appear, write them down. Listen to your intuition.
Are any of them jumping at you or standing out?
Are you feeling any emotional impact when you write and think about them?
Can you trace any idea back to your childhood or some previous experience that cemented it in your mind?
Okay, now go and write for as long as you can:
What could I possibly be getting from this issue?
(comfort, love, acceptance, understanding, social circle, excuses for my failures)What pain am I avoiding by getting better?
(the pain of having to open my heart to being hurt again, the pain of stress, the pain of responsibility, becoming someone I don’t want to become)What could I possibly lose if I got better?
(my current way of life, comfort, support, excuses, time, people)Why would I ever choose this situation?
(I think this is how it has to be, I don’t feel capable of more, I don’t believe I’m worthy of love or success, I’m afraid of failing, rejection, heartbreak, or success itself)Who would I be without my situation, condition, or illness?
(do I like that person, what do they look like, how do they think and live, who are they, and how risky is it to become that person)How would other people look at, feel, and talk about me?
(am I afraid it would harm my relationships, would I have to change my social circle, would I stick out and they would reject me, what would they say behind my back)What would this change mean for my closest relationships?
(how would my family take it, my best friends and coworkers, would they look at me differently, would it mean changes, moving out, helping, taking responsibility, starting a family)What would I have to do?
(am I afraid that if I got better, I would have to go to work, manage a lot of money, start taking better care of myself or someone else, become responsible for myself, take risks, and go outside my comfort zone)Am I perhaps avoiding something I don’t want to do or become?
(is it possible that I’m more afraid of becoming this new person than staying where I am, am I afraid of change, what is holding me back)What would I have to give up?
(social security, compassion, social circle, health benefits, accommodation, excuses)What wouldn’t I have any more? Would I miss it?
(the ability to nap, stay at home, not do something I don’t want to do, close friends)What is the worst thing that can happen if I get better?
(I fail and everyone laughs at me, I get rejected, I get cheated on, I lose the one I would love, I burn out from stress, I have to manage more money, I wouldn't know who I am and what to do, how to live, I make mistakes)What do I think (and say) of people who don’t have my problems?
(they’re lucky, stupid, ignorant, selfish, greedy, cocky, bad people, exploitative, lame, normal)Am I perhaps afraid of getting better for some reason? What could that be?
(I would have to try again, get a job, grow up, try something new, be brave)Is this improvement in any way in conflict with my other beliefs?
(such as, being rich means you are a bad person and exploit others, but you are a good person, being skinny makes people become obsessed with their bodies, and healthy people don’t understand us)
Keep digging.
Did you do the exercise?
How many times?
How many possible explanations did you find?
If you say none or only one, redo the exercise. Not just once; keep at it until you know precisely why you are where you are and what you’re getting out of it. Because the fact is, no one else is keeping you in your situation. That’s not how this reality works.
Do you want to know what’s in your mind?
Look at yourself and your life. They are an exact replica of your deepest beliefs. Listen, I’m not here to argue with you. I’m not going to force you to do anything. If you have a problem accepting this idea, think of this as a fun exercise in “steelmanning,” exploring and arguing for the opposite view.
“This can’t possibly be true. There is no way I’m getting something out of keeping myself in a state of misery, sickness, or poverty. You’re hallucinating!”
Maybe. Prove yourself right, but give it a chance. Try to find out if there is something to this idea. You never know what you might find out. I know I didn’t expect to find the things I found when I did this for myself. The mind is a weird, deceptive mistress.
You’re not afraid of what you might find, are you?
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