3 Simple Things To Free You Of Any Fear
3 Simple Things To Free You Of Any Fear
This is what you need to overcome any fear. It’s a simple recipe, but are you courageous enough to actually do it?
We all suffer from fear. Some more than others, and on various topics but fear is a universal emotion. I’ve been plagued by fear all my life, and I did what most of us do. I ran and avoided the things I feared. I worried and worried. I sought escape in many forms. I even managed to completely ruin my health and burn out as a result of fear.
Long story short, I’ve been through hell, and I’ve learned the lesson. I’m passing this lesson on to you, dear friend whom I’ve never met, hoping it will help you avoid having to go through hell yourself.
First, you need to understand your fear—what it is, where it can survive, and what exactly you are actually afraid of. You must also fully and deeply understand that being afraid isn’t helping the situation. It’s only making everything worse. See the links under the article for posts detailing those ideas.
To overcome any fear, we only need three things:
Deep understanding that fear is an illusion of the mind; it’s a negative projection of one possible future that scares you, but it isn’t real. It doesn’t exist.
It’s just an emotion, a feeling based on your thoughts about the future, and nothing more. You can try to predict the odds, but you’re predicting the future, which is impossible by definition. Calculating the odds may be beneficial and help ease our mind, though, as we usually worry about things that are very unlikely to happen anyway.
Fear is just a thought-driven emotion. It lives within your mind. You need and want to purge those thoughts and emotions out of your system.Acceptance of the ultimate worst-case scenario. Face your fear, and it will lose its power over you.
Go deep. Go hard. Explore the worst-case scenario in detail. Process what you fear, see what it would be like, and you will no longer fear it. Fear is only possible when you are unwilling to accept some possible future. When accepting it, you are only accepting it emotionally, realizing that it may happen and there is nothing you can do about it, but that doesn’t mean you don’t do everything in your power to prevent it!
Die before you die, and you will be able to live a glorious life.Complete and utter acceptance of the fact that you do not control everything. There are things over which you have no power. You can’t predict them, can’t prepare for them, and can’t stop them.
Since you have no power over these things pertaining to your fear, there is no point in thinking about them or fearing them. What will be will be, and you will do the best you can if and when it comes. Control what you can and then let go of the rest.
This is a key component. If you knew for a fact that something won’t happen, you wouldn’t be afraid of it happening. Ironically, if you knew for a fact that something would happen, you also wouldn’t feel such fear as the veil of uncertainty is lifted. When you come to terms with the fact that you cannot know and cannot stop what is coming, if it comes, you can feel relief from that responsibility, and a sense of calm acceptance can settle in.
I did not include the classic “do what you fear,” “increase exposure to what makes you feel uncomfortable,” or “visualize facing the fear,” as I’m sure you already know them. If they helped all by themselves, you would be a fear-free person. Are you?
That’s it - fear doesn’t stand a chance
Easier said than done, though.
After you’ve done the three steps above, you no longer need to fear anything. You do all that you can, but then, at some point, you have to say enough. I’ve done everything in my power and let go of the rest.
What will be will be, and find within you the confidence and faith that you will deal with whatever comes to the best of your ability, as you have no other choice. Your faith is not with the uncertain future but with yourself.
If and when the time comes, you will do the best you can, and that is all you can ever do. You’ve survived all of the challenges up until this point, and the odds are stacked in your favor. Should the chips fall and you fail miserably, there was nothing you could have done to stop it anyway. Consider it “meant to be.”
If a comet is hurtling toward Earth, being afraid of it is nonsense. You can’t stop it. If it hits, you’re going to die along with most of humanity, or maybe you'll be spared, but since there is no way to know who will die, there is also no point in fighting what is coming. It is out of your hands. Let it come, be what may.
If your baby stops breathing in the middle of the night, it is extremely unlikely that you can catch it, and you probably can’t do anything about it anyway. You need to let it go, even though I fully understand the crippling fear that can instill in you.
If you were sitting next to a bomb that would go off in ten seconds, and there was nothing you could do to stop it, you wouldn’t experience fear anymore. Instead of fear, a deep calm would flow over. The moments before immediate death are said to be magical, as unnatural as that sounds.
Why does that happen?
Because the person has fully and completely surrendered to their fate, and there are very few things in this life more freeing and pleasant than that. This is the power of acceptance and surrender.
These are extreme examples, but you now see how the emotion of fear is useless, and it can be overcome, even if the worst were to come to fruition. Fear adds nothing to the odds of salvation; it only ruins the way you feel today and hinders your ability to think and act optimally.
Acceptance is emotional and mental. It does not mean you won’t do what you can to prevent a negative thing from happening. Within reason. Beyond that, any fear is a complete waste of time. You know the danger. You can still be smart about it without being afraid.
I know nobody wants to accept that, but it remains a fact. And no amount of fighting reality or pretending otherwise will make the slightest difference to anything except drive you insane!
Fear has consequences
Now, if I were to include the metaphysical aspect of “what you focus on most is what you get most out of your life,” you would never allow yourself to even think about the things that scare you the most, as you would now understand that by focusing on fear, you are inviting more of what you are afraid of into your life - very literally.
A wise person who understands the illusionary nature of fear and its lack of influence on the outcome of the future, plus the power such strong emotions have on us and how they increase the odds of a negative outcome instead of helping, never allows fear into their mind.
They are determined to feel good, calm, and at peace all the time. They understand that fear is only an emotion, and it does nothing but hurt them and their lives.
A wise man or woman would then first and foremost make sure their mind is in a good place, regardless of their situation. Always tend to the mind first.
What we’ve discussed in this post works like magic
It takes a bit of getting used to reframing the idea of fear and control in your mind, but after you’ve adopted this new mindset, the fear will disappear. When that happens, a new life is available to you. One you’ve only ever dreamed about. A life of love, peace, and happiness, even if nothing in the outside world changes for the better. And yet, it usually does as a direct result.
If you’re interested in learning more bout fear and how to overcome it, I invite you to read these related posts:
10 core principles of any fear
How to Deal With a Stressful Situation, Fear, and Anxiety?
Are You Afraid of Going to The Dentist?
How to Face Your Fears, Calm Your Mind, and Overcome Anxiety
First Aid for Dealing With Stress, Panic, Fear, and Anxiety
This One Idea Helped Me Overcome Paralyzing Fear and Anxiety
What Helped Me Overcome the Fear of Water?
Are You Afraid That Artificial Intelligence Will Be the End of Humanity?
Are You Afraid of Having Children Because the Future Looks Grim?
Feeling Scared about the Conflict in Ukraine? Don't Worry, There's No Need to be Anxious!