How to Face Your Fears, Calm Your Mind, and Overcome Anxiety
How to Face Your Fears, Calm Your Mind, and Overcome Anxiety
A collection of my posts on anxiety, stress and fear. You will find instructions for meditation, learn how to control your mind and emotions, and achieve inner peace.
Hello, dear reader!
I’ve organized some of my posts by specific topics so you can find what you’re interested in faster. This is a list of articles related to fear and anxiety. I hope they’ll help you alleviate some of your emotional struggles.
You can also read most of them on Medium if you prefer (members only) - here’s a reading list on the same topic.
What I talk about has helped me immensely!
Not so long ago, I was a mess. Sick, anxious, and full of crippling fears, which eventually caused my burnout. Then, I was forced to turn inward and make some life-altering changes. I am not the same person I was. I am now calm and, for the most part, free of my fears, anxiety, and stress.
Don’t you want this for yourself?
I will periodically update this page, but if you don’t want to miss a post I write, make sure to subscribe.
Structure of this list:
Title of the article with the LINK to the full post.
Subtitle of the article.
A few short points from the article.
Now, get to reading:
First Aid for Dealing With Stress, Panic, Fear, and Anxiety
Immediate stress relief: How to regain control after intense emotional episodes?
Try my favorite breathing exercises.
Accept that what is done is done. You can’t change the past. You can only accept it and learn from it.
The only way out is through! Allow the fear, stress, anxiety, sadness, and anger to play out fully.
How to Deal With a Stressful Situation, Fear, and Anxiety?
What are the key strategies to understand and manage your fears? Face your fear - don’t run away from it!
Through introspection, find out exactly what it is that you fear - go deep.
Determine your worst fear and what worst-case scenario.
Explore this worst-case scenario and its potential impact on your life. You need to immerse yourself in this imaginary worst-case scenario fully.
If this worst-case scenario happens in the worst possible way - is it the end of the world? What are my options? What are the odds?
Accept the worst-case scenario completely. If it happens, it happens. That doesn’t mean that you won’t do everything in your power to prevent this scenario; it just means that you are now at peace in accepting it.
What Helped Me Overcome the Fear of Water?
Afraid of deep water? Scared of drowning?
How I overcame my fear of the deep.
Understanding is key. We explore the physics of buoyancy, breath hold, and your innate ability to swim directly from the womb.
Exposure and practice make all the difference.
One rule - never panic, and don’t be an idiot! Okay, that’s two rules.
This One Idea Helped Me Overcome Paralyzing Fear and Anxiety
Would knowing the future make you more, or less afraid of it? Is the future predetermined?
We talk about the role of faith and trust in higher ideas.
In order to let go of anxiety, we must let go of the illusion of control.
I explain the principle of reverse effort. The more you resist and fight a situation, the deeper you drown in it. As soon as you let go, the situation resolves itself.
We take a look at some alternative ideas regarding the nature of reality to see if any offer any emotional relief.
I introduce a special meditation/affirmation that has helped me through severe anxiety.
Tragedy Strikes and You Lose Everything - How to Focus and Handle the Situation?
Bad things happen to everyone. How we react to the situation makes all the difference. Fear, anxiety, and worry can be mitigated if you know how.
We are never truly safe. Security and certainty don’t exist on this planet!
Some events are under our control; others are not. It is paramount to know the difference. We can never control what happens to us, but we can choose how we react to what happens.
How to handle tragedy when the unexpected hits? Determine what truly matters, and don’t worry about the rest.
Accept what happened as soon as possible. Make a plan for saving what can be saved, repairing what can be repaired, and then let go of all that is lost.
No amount of whining and fretting will make the tinniest difference except to make you feel worse in an already terrible situation.
Enjoy the things, but don’t get attached.
Are You Afraid of Going to The Dentist?
How to make your dentist appointments less scary and painful? Dare we aim for pleasant?
It’s not just about going to the dentist but about overcoming fear and anxiety and lessening the suffering under pain.
Since we cannot avoid the situation, we must accept it and make peace with it.
We discuss mental reframes that help us work through the situation we so desperately fear.
I discuss the importance of relaxing your body and focusing on breathing when afraid or in pain. I also show you some mental activities when you have to endure discomfort.
When presented with the choice, we should always choose the “small pain now, to avoid the large pain later.”
What Makes Your Life Situation So Bloody Stressful? Do You Even Know?
We all react differently to any situation. Your mind is causing stress through your expectations, attachments, and fears.
People perceive the same situations entirely differently. It’s not the situations that cause stress. It’s our perception and reaction to them.
We look at the job of a CEO as an example of a potentially stressful situation and dissect it from all sides, trying to figure out what causes stress and how to avoid it.
How stressful any situation is perceived heavily depends on our psychological traits.
We talk about the terrible situation of losing your father. A million factors will determine how sad, impactful, and painful such an experience will be for us all, but assuming all things are equal, here are some factors that will determine our perception of his death (any loved one).
I offer some advice on mitigating or even preventing stress in various ways.
Suffering from Anxiety? Use These 5 Anti-Anxiety Weapons and Free Yourself
We all experience anxiety, but we don’t all know how to fight it and escape its grip.
The anti-anxiety axe. Focus on the present moment. Anxiety cannot live in the now. Don’t fight the mind. Learn to observe it.
The laughing anti-anxiety flamethrower. Know that your mind and your mind alone causes your anxiety. There is no outside force tormenting you. It’s that little voice inside your head. You can listen to that voice and worry, fret, and plan, or choose to ignore it.
The anti-anxiety tank with advanced radar. If anxiety begins showing its ugly teeth during the day, I take out my notebook and start a writing process. I allow my anxiety to express itself fully, observing my emotions without judging them.
The anti-anxiety nuke. Faith, friends. Faith is a powerful force. If you possess unwavering faith, anxiety will have no chance to mess with you. It is dependent on your fears regarding the future.
The hydrogen anti-anxiety bomb. That weapon is surrender! Complete and utter surrender. Nothing less will do. When you are anxious, you are afraid of something in the future. We give up on our desires and are free from fearing they won’t come true.
Anxiety, a Modern Plague Causing Billions To Suffer Needlessly
What is anxiety, and are you helpless when it overwhelms you?
Anxiety has been my companion for as long as I can remember. It is somewhat of a modern plague, tormenting the young and the old around the world. Statistically, roughly 20% (1) of people above 18 suffer from anxiety, and about a third report severe issues (in the US).
The most important thing to understand about anxiety is that it has nothing to do with outside events and situations, only with your mind.
Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome. We break it down.
Anxious or Depressed? Lock Yourself in Time!
Overwhelmed? Let me teach you the “TIME RESISTANT SUBMARINE VISUALIZATION.”
This is one of my favorite visualizations that grounds me in the present moment and gives me instant relief.
Imagine yourself in a giant metal submarine. You’re standing in the middle compartment, with metal doors in front of and behind you. But they’re no ordinary doors. Oh no, they’re bulkheads- waterproof and airtight. You can see those red wheels, also known as a “dogging” mechanism. Once those are locked, nothing gets in or out! You’re completely sealed.
By cementing yourself in today only, you will alleviate most of your worries and anxieties. You will also be free of resentments and regrets.
Your Mind Is a Bully, But You Won’t Win by Fighting Back
The key to freedom from your mind is understanding and detaching
When I was a kid, I was plagued by bullies. There came a point when I just couldn’t take it anymore. A moment that changed everything.
The truth is that 99% of our troubles are troubles of our minds. You can’t fight your mind and hope to win. It’s like fighting ghosts. This inner bully of yours will not be chased away by salt and iron. The more you fight it, the stronger it gets. The more you resist the mind’s torments, the more it torments you.
How does one defeat this inner “bully?” By understanding the mind and yourself and realizing you’re not it. In essence, by not giving a flying f*** regardless of its inner ramblings, images, sounds, or feelings it torments you with.
Did you know that you don’t have to entertain your thoughts? Yes, you can ignore the rambling and torments of your mind! Allow me to teach you.
Fresh Parent or Pregnant? - Stop Worrying!
Are you worried and scared about your pregnancy or child all the time? It’s time to stop before you hurt them!
I list some simple, albeit unpleasant, and scary facts most like to pretend don’t exist.
When we stress about our children’s safety and well-being, we channel that stress onto them. While you can’t influence a whole specter of possible issues with pregnancy, you do control your input and output.
Let’s reframe worrying out of your life with some time-proven reframes.
You love your child, so give it love, not fear. I illustrate this point with an unpleasant (for a reason) visualization.
You must learn to accept and make peace with the uncertainty of the future.
I Burned Out from Stress at 25, and My Body Shut Down.
A short story on what caused my burnout and how you can avoid it happening to you. A cautionary tale for the modern age.
I burned out completely when I was just twenty-five years old. I tell my story of how my life got flipped upside down as a result.
I explain what lessons we can learn from my episode.
Are You Afraid of Having Children Because the Future Looks Grim?
Should you or should you not have children in these perilous times?
I talk about how young people today are the most frightened generation ever.
We discuss whether they are justified in their fears.
I wanted to show you a different perspective of looking at the future, especially the prospect of having your own children. Objectively speaking, this is the best time to be alive. Subjectively, though, it’s anything but. Why is that?
Meditation on the Desert at Night - Is the Universe Agitated or Is It All in Your Mind?
How to find peace and tranquility, regardless of the place and time? Learn to observe your mind and be free from its torment!
We answer this question together and derive an important lesson from it.
We look at the nature of your mind and your connection to it - are you your mind?
I teach you how to observe your mind, detach from it, and free yourself from its torment.
You will learn how even your mind can become a desert of quiet, peace, and happiness.
Why Believing in a Dark Future Seems Reasonable, But is Actually Insane
Everybody seems anxious about the future, focusing on pessimistic predictions, apocalyptic scenarios, and the end of humanity. Is the majority usually right?
Counting on a catastrophic future and apocalyptic forecasts coming to fruition has never been productive, nor has it turned out to be true. The world was supposed to have ended about five times every decade, and yet, lo and behold, we’re still here.
Being a pessimist is a terrible affliction. It makes us feel bad, demotivating us from living life to our fullest potential. It takes the fun away from today.
The pessimists are usually wrong, they don’t get rich, but more importantly, pessimists aren’t happy. They also have less fun in life.
It is an essay on changing our perspective - my futile little attempt to uplift our collective outlook on the future.
Feeling Scared about the Conflict in Ukraine? Don’t Worry, There’s No Need to be Anxious!
Is an apocalypse going to end the world in a giant ball of fire? - It doesn’t matter! There isn’t a Goddamn thing we can do about it.
The news is full of horrible predictions about our future. War, climate change, radical politics, misinformation, diseases, and even aliens. Yes, aliens. Anything to frighten us, harvest our attention, and keep us glued to our screens.
I explain the mental fallacy of being well-informed and whether it’s beneficial to us or harmful.
We talk about separating what is under your control and what isn’t. Knowing the difference is paramount! Worriny about things you can’t do anything about is insanity. How about choosing to be an optimist? Why are you risking?
Are You Afraid That Artificial Intelligence Will Be the End of Humanity?
Are we right to fear AI? How will AI shape our future: catastrophe or catalyst?
Should you be afraid of AI? Is it dangerous? What are the odds of a rogue AI murdering us all?
Where do people get these ideas about an “evil AI”?” Are they based on reality, or is it a projection of humanity?
Can we know what a sentient artificial intelligence will really look like? Why do we assign it morals, virtues, and emotions? I present how idiotic it is to presume human properties into a theoretical artificial life form.
I do my best to calm your mind about AI using reason, which is somewhat of a lost art today. Your fear is misplaced. Read the article to understand why.
Are You Afraid Of an Exam in School?
Reframe it in your mind and be free from worry once and for all. (Letters to my daughter)
While studying for and taking the exam is mandatory, worrying about it is entirely optional. This is where stress comes from, as does fear.
We talk about learning from failure, accepting the worst-case scenario, and finding emotional relief when facing an uncertain, stressful situation.
I give you some guidance as to how to reframe things in your mind and, with it, alter how you feel about them.
What Good Is Worrying About Things Beyond Your Control?
Wars, violence, and armed conflicts are rising in the world. Use them as reminders of how lucky you are. (Letters to my daughter)
Always ask yourself: What can I do about this situation?
Give it your best to try and understand the situation. Do you know the truth of the issue?
Focus on what you can control, and don’t worry about the future.
Don’t Fear Change - Learn to Love It
Change is scary, but it’s the essence of life. It’s venturing into the unknown. But change can also be good. It usually is. Take calculated risks often and keep growing. (Letters to my daughter)
Change is scary, and so is the unknown. People often fear change for the sake of change itself, not the consequences. Change means entering unknown waters, and we tend to resist the unknown. What we don’t understand frightens us.
Go with the flow of life; don’t resist it. Change is the essence of life. Nature loves nothing more than to change things. It is the most natural thing in the universe.
Everything you desire is on the other side of fear and your comfort zone. Don’t fear failure and taking chances. Reframe failure from bad to good. Take calculated risks. Initiate change and throw yourself out of your comfort zone as often as possible. Life is either an adventure or nothing at all!
There Is no Time, Only This Moment and That Is Enough - Daily Rant #23
A rant about time - which is nothing more than an illusion of the mind. Grounded in the present moment, we are complete and at peace.
Ground yourself in the moment. Allow yourself to only think about today. Leave the past and the future to themselves.
No time, no mind. My mind, friend, and enemy in one cannot survive living in the moment. It needs time to think and express itself. Thinking creates time.
It’s a short rant where I ground myself in the present moment. I show you how I write myself into presence, hoping you’ll find a process for yourself.
Today, I Prioritize Inner Peace Above All Else - Daily Rant #20
This is my random rant, a reminder for myself of the nature of reality, where I explore challenging ideas and mold my mind. It's gonna get weird.
A written rant recalibrating myself for inner peace. My priority is to be calm and at peace.
What am I thankful for today?
What am I looking forward to (the small things)?
I am where I am. It is what it is. I must accept it all.
I will focus on the process and let go of the results.
STOP! You Don’t Need to Have an Opinion - You Can’t Save Everyone
Worried about war and suffering and want to help? It’s okay to say I don’t know or care. It’s none of my business. It’s all perspectives, not truth. Let go and find peace.
There is no one simple, objective, absolute truth to anything - it’s all perspectives. This is a crucial understanding that makes all the difference.
There are no good guys, especially in wars. Only perspectives and an endless list of horrible situations and actions on all sides. Therefore, there is no objective solution to the problem. From my perspective, it’s all insanity!
No amount of thinking, talking, worrying, or crying from you or me will make a difference here. It’s all wasted time, energy, and emotions. We can’t solve other people’s problems, especially when they don’t want to solve them themselves. It’s a fact we need to learn to accept. We’re not helping anyone. We’re just making ourselves feel horrible!
Don't Identify With LABELS - You Are Not Your Condition!
When you identify with some condition or disease, you inadvertently make it a part of your IDENTITY. This will prevent you from healing, as it attacks who you are!
If you’ve been sick for a long time, being sick is now a part of your identity. Once that happens, healing becomes impossible. You will resist it somewhere deep within, as it will mean killing a part of who you are.
We look at some examples (depression, obesity, addiction, illness) of statements we use to cement our identification of our condition by assigning labels to the sense of “who are we?”
As long as you identify with the problem, the issue, the disease, you cannot heal. Why not? Because this identity has now put you in the mindset of a helpless victim, and by reaffirming that you’re sick, you’re just causing more problems and evidence of your beliefs being factual. It’s an endless cycle. Furthermore, you perceive it as something solid, unchangeable, a part of you.
If you identify with your “temporary condition,” you will unconsciously do what those labels expect of you, and that’s not improving. Improving would mean you’re becoming someone else, and you will subconsciously resist it.
Self-Analysis: What Am I Getting From Being Stuck Where I Am?
Do you find pleasure in being sick, poor, or lonely? Is the fear of healing, love, or success bigger than staying stuck? You might be surprised at what you find!
What is the main issue you suffer from and keeps repeating in your life? Find out why you are creating it so you may be free to improve your health and life.
We engage in intense self-analysis, asking ourselves questions and then trying to come up with as many answers as possible.
If you are stuck in some position, you are stuck there because although you hate it, on some level, there is something you’re getting out of it. This terrible position you’re in is somehow better and less painful than the opposite of it (poor, rich, sick, healthy, alone, in a relationship). No, it’s not rational, and it doesn’t make sense!
You don’t know what it is that you are getting from it, or you would stop. No one in their right mind would be doing this intentionally. So, let’s find out if we can find the reasons that are buried levels deeper in your subconscious mind.
Even if you don’t think it will make a change, shining a light on some buried issues and beliefs that are not benefiting you can only be good. Get to know yourself and see if there’s any truth to it.
A Lowly Water Boy Who Shared the King’s Burden
What happens when we carry the weight of the whole world on our shoulders? Are we helping others when we sympathize with their pain from afar?
A short story about a water boy who lived in a remote village, that kept up with all the news from around the world, and carried the weight of the world on his shoulders.
One day, he got sick. He was dying. Local healers were stunned and helpless. They just couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him.
Then a wise old sage walked into the village and wanted to meet this young man.
Understanding Stress in Trading: What Makes Trading Stressful?
How to manage stress, anxiety, fear and greed when trading? - Mind of a trader series
I list stress factors in trading the markets, and we dissect them further.
We look at three fictional traders and their approaches and situations to see what we can learn from them regarding their perception of stress.
I will give you some ideas on how to lower stress when trading and investing, which is inherently a stress-inducing activity, but it doesn’t have to be.
How to Make Trading Less Stressful?
Do we have any power over the stress we experience in trading? Must trading be stressful? - Mind of a trader series
Learn to accept the unpredictability of the markets and adapt your strategy to this fact of life.
Focus on systems, not goals - on things you control - the process, not the results, which are out of your control.
I explain how stress is a function of your mind’s perception of some situation, not the situation itself.
A Lowly Water Boy Who Shared the King’s Burden
What happens when we carry the weight of the whole world on our shoulders? Are we helping others when we sympathize with their pain from afar?
This is a story about a water boy who always wanted to know what was going on in the world. He carried the weight of the world on his shoulders as if the buckets of water weren’t enough. One day, he became very sick, and no healer from the surrounding villages knew how to help him. Then, a wise old sage rode into town, wearing nothing but a smile. Ha made no promises but said he would love to meet this young man.
Self-Analysis: What Am I Getting From Being Stuck Where I Am?
Do you find pleasure in being sick, poor, or lonely? Is the fear of healing, love, or success bigger than staying stuck? You might be surprised at what you find!
Are you sick, poor, or lonely? What is the main issue you suffer from and keeps repeating in your life? Find out why you are creating it so you may be free to improve your health and life.
What we’ll be talking about in this post applies to any and all patterns that keep replaying in your life, health, mind, love, and finances. It makes no difference. If there is a pattern and you’re stuck, you can be sure you are the one causing it subconsciously.
The main idea is this:
If you are stuck in some position, you are stuck there because although you hate it, on some level, there is something you’re getting out of it. This terrible position you’re in is somehow better and less painful than the opposite of it (poor, rich, sick, healthy, alone, in a relationship). No, it’s not rational, and it doesn’t make sense!
You don’t know what it is that you are getting from it, or you would stop. No one in their right mind would be doing this intentionally. So, let’s find out if we can find the reasons that are buried levels deeper in your subconscious mind.
Even if you don’t think it will make a change, shining a light on some buried issues and beliefs that are not benefiting you can only be good. Get to know yourself and see if there’s any truth to it.
In the article, I guide you through the process of finding out why you are keeping yourself in this undesired situation and what you’re getting from it, without realizing it.
If you have a specific anxiety or fear-related topic you want me to write about, let me know in the comments or send me an email at zzmeditations (at) gmail (dot) com. Talk to me - fill out a short and fun survey (for subscribers).