This is my first attempt at voiceover.
I’ve been contemplating what I could offer paid subscribers without taking anything away from my regular readers, and this seems like a rather elegant solution. I could read the article and give it a more personal note.
It seemed easy enough. In theory, at least. In practice, though, I have to battle technical issues I didn’t know I had, and my central European accent, while relatively hidden when I write, is blatantly obvious when I speak.
There’s no point hiding it, so I had better lean into it. I fluctuate from something of a Russian sailor, an English scholar, or an American hill… country boy when I speak English. All at the same time, unfortunately. I’m somewhat of a chameleon, especially when it comes to accents, for some weird reason I can’t define. A glitch from a previous life, perhaps? Who knows.
In time, I would like to add more content, like guided meditations and some random audio stories. We’ll see.
The idea is that I’ll first test the whole process to see just how difficult it is, what works best, and how much time it demands. Time, as we all know, is precious when chasing the dream of being a full-time writer while having a family and paying the bills by other means.
I’ve had to make a few compromises, though:
I will take a “one-take” approach, which means there will inevitably be mistakes, hiccups, coughs, and “interjections” in these voiceovers. I simply cannot spend hours perfecting them, and I would rather work on my primary craft - writing.
This won’t be studio quality, as I’ll be taping myself with my phone. In time, if it shows promise, I would be willing to invest in a better microphone, but that’s about it.
I can’t promise to record myself reading or talking about every single article I post, but I will try to record the more important ones.
What’s free and what’s not?
UPDATE: EVERYTHING IS FREE!
It felt wrong to lock these audio files for paid users only. It’s just not who I am. Enjoy!
A few of these voiceovers will be free, so you’ll know the horrible mess you’re missing if you’re not a paid subscriber.
I know, I know. I, too, feel like an old prostitute showing my ass into the glass window overlooking the street, hoping to catch some less-than-demanding clients my way. The kind who don’t mind a few missing teeth, having to lift my skirt to find the nipples, and don’t care if they’re the fifteenth customer today.
If that’s you — welcome, dear one! I age like good wine, and that’s the premium cheese you are smelling from yesterday. It’s not me. I swear it on my grandkids!
These voiceovers will also become free at some later date, so even if you can’t afford the expense of a coffee a month ( I get it; I drink used coffee that tastes like warm piss as well), you’ll still get to hear me struggle, choke on furballs and pretend that I know what I’m doing, which I am definitely not.
Good Lord, this creator economy is creating some weird products. Wow! Anyway.
I hope you like it and that you’ll consider subscribing, liking, commenting, and sharing. If I’m prostituting in this post, I might as well go all the way! Mommy would be proud.
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