To Enjoy Anything Fully, You Have To Be Willing To Lose It
Can you emotionally and mentally let go of what you love most? Accept impermanence and unpredictability.
As long as you are afraid of losing something you love, enjoy, or like, you can’t use it as it was meant to be used and fully take advantage of what is available to you. That fear of losing will ruin everything.
In relationships, it will make you exhausting and possessive and push people away. With things, your fear of loss will make you overly careful, stingy, and obsessive, ruining the experience of ownership completely. Unfortunately, that fear will make you think and act in a way that ultimately causes you to lose what you fear losing the most.
You cannot enjoy anything or anyone if you are afraid of losing it or them
If you are afraid of losing your lover and are jealous, you’ll just push them away with your possessiveness, causing the thing you fear the most yourself.
Make peace with the idea that this relationship might not be eternal, but it is here now, and you can enjoy it while it lasts. The more tightly you hold on, the greater the odds that something will go horribly wrong in your relationship.If you are afraid of getting sick and try to study all the possible diseases, you will make yourself ill.
The more you visit the doctor's office, the more you will need to see them. The more you read about what could be wrong, the more things will be wrong with your health. The more you are afraid, the more you feel stressed and the weaker your immune system, and that’s just the start!If you are afraid of losing your job, you will become a neurotic ball of stress, eventually underperforming and eating yourself alive.
It’s then only a matter of time to see what gives out first, your work or your health.If you are afraid of losing money, you will hold on to it, refuse to invest, and spend it until your imagined loss becomes real.
You can never become wealthy if you are afraid to lose money. Risk management is important, but there has to be some risk, investments, and uncertainty involved. Money has the same annoying quality about it. The more you care about money, the more it runs away.If you are afraid of impotence, you’re not getting an erection, as your mind is so fixated on the problem that the rest of your bodily functions are pushed into the background, and you’re not making anyone happy under the sheets.
You’re not suffering from a physical problem; the fear is the cause, and releasing that fear is the solution.If you are afraid of public speaking, you will be a stuttering mess until you relax and stop caring about what other people think of you.
When you relax, you’ll be able to give your best performance (in all things). You’ll be authentic and charismatic. With not caring comes the aura of confidence.If you are afraid for your child’s health and safety, you will obsessively look for problems, suffocate them with your protection, and isolate them from all outside stimuli, which will result in an insufficient immune system unable to defend itself and a child who can’t survive in the real world, as they were never exposed to any danger, falling, pain, and failing.
The worst thing you can do for your child is to be overprotective and not let them get sick, hurt, and fail (within reason). You’re building a human being, and those are all part of life. The kids need to learn how to deal with adverse situations, and so does their immune system. You also won’t be able to enjoy being a parent and be present as they grow up. I promise that you will regret it down the line. These magical moments only come once in the life of a child, and you can only enjoy them if you’re not afraid of losing them.If you’re afraid of something happening to your house, car, or other material possessions, you won’t be able to relax and enjoy them fully.
You’ll be too occupied with trying to preserve, protect, and insure them. You won’t use these things as they were meant to be used because you will fear damaging or losing them. It’s the best way for things to own you instead of you owning your things! Imagine having a powerful sports car made to go fast, but you’re too afraid it’ll get scratched or damaged, so it spends its life locked up in a garage. Tragedy.
Peace, love, and happiness are only possible after you have accepted that you can’t control everything and everyone, that you might lose them to no fault of your own, and after you get your mind right and teach it to stop obsessing about the future, especially in a negative way.
The only way to release your fear is to realize the truth, and the truth is that being afraid doesn’t help matters in the slightest. Let go of things you can’t control. Furthermore, it only increases the odds of something undesired happening, as you are now focused on the negative outcome, feel horrible, and can’t think or perform to your best ability.
What will be, will be
Focus on today and enjoy all that has been given to you to the best of your ability. If you will one day lose it, there is nothing you can do about it anway. Either way, that day has not yet come, and you might want to be the best that you can be in your relationships and appreciate the things you have while you have them.
Sadly, we often only appreciate what we have once we’ve lost it. A gentle reminder that such a day may come at any point in time may not be such a bad thing. If nothing else, you yourself can disappear into the afterlife at any moment, and there is nothing you can do about it. This is not a reason for sorrow or fear but an encouragement to live and enjoy your life right now.
If you’re interested in learning more bout fear and how to overcome it, I invite you to read these related posts:
Why I Don’t Fear Death and Why You Shouldn’t Either - Thanatophobia
10 core principles of any fear
How to Deal With a Stressful Situation, Fear, and Anxiety?
Are You Afraid of Going to The Dentist?
How to Face Your Fears, Calm Your Mind, and Overcome Anxiety
First Aid for Dealing With Stress, Panic, Fear, and Anxiety
This One Idea Helped Me Overcome Paralyzing Fear and Anxiety
What Helped Me Overcome the Fear of Water?
Are You Afraid That Artificial Intelligence Will Be the End of Humanity?
Are You Afraid of Having Children Because the Future Looks Grim?
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